It’s December, which means we’re heading into a LOT of holidays. While I light my menorah and try to figure out which is the best place for Chinese buffet in my area, a large portion of the world will be celebrating Christmas, reveling in carols, ham, evergreens, bright lights, and wrapped presents. Some might even dress up a family member as Santa so as to trick the young’uns running throughout the household.
Whatever your shtick is for Christmas, I think we can all agree that Christmas movies are plentiful and, most likely, overplayed. Who really needs to see A Charlie Brown Christmas or It’s a Wonderful Life again? Those movies have been played out so much that even people who haven’t seen them know what they’re about. They’ve become iconic representations of the holiday and it’s time that we move on to other fare.
So, with that kind of spirit in mind, I wanted to offer five movies that have dashes (and prancers and vixens and I’ll stop) of Christmas within but don’t make it the central theme of the film. Enjoy!
Die Hard
Everyone makes the joke that this is the greatest Christmas movie ever, which might very well be true. There’s something immensely pleasing about John McClaine running amok through Nakatomi Plaza and wasting glorified robbers during a Christmas party. While the holiday isn’t the focus of the film, there are enough nods to make anyone feel jolly!
Batman Returns
I’m sure Bruce Wayne would just LOVE to eat some bat-shaped cookies next to his gargantuan fireplace while sipping on some milk but it seems that the holidays bring trouble in the form of Penguin, Catwoman, and Max Schrek. That gives Bats the joyous opportunity to beat the crap out of some of the coolest looking clowns committed to film while also enjoying a giant Christmas tree…Gotham’s Ice Princess’ dead body notwithstanding, of course.
Gremlins
This one might tread the line a bit too much in terms of embodying Christmas but I still think it has a place here. The fact that Gizmo is an early Christmas present and that the town is covered with almost as many lights as Camp Verde was covered with spider webs in Kingdom of the Spiders doesn’t change the fact that the focus isn’t on the Christmas spirit but rather a group of people trying to deal with an infestation of the titular characters. With a not inconsiderable body count, Gremlins is a Christmas movie for the slightly sadistic.
Edward Scissorhands
The second Tim Burton movie on this list, Edward Scissorhands is a fantasy classic that may very well be one of the director’s greatest films (next to Beetlejuice and Batman, of course). It’s a wonderful fable about learning how to appreciate those who are different from you, about learning how to bring them into your family and, queue the gag alert, into your heart. It also happens that the movie culminates during Christmas season, which only adds to the final, somewhat tragic ending.
Trading Places
Sometimes you have to watch Dan Aykroyd hit rock bottom and then team up with a prostitute and a recently homeless Eddie Murphy so as to take down two brothers who own a commodity broker company. Why? Because they fucked Aykroyd over as part of a bet where the stakes are a whopping $1. Yup, a single dollar is all it took for them to put one of their very best guys out of a job, on the street, and, eventually, in a Santa outfit where he stuffs his costume with delicious buffet offerings. If you haven’t seen Trading Places, you’re missing out on one of the greatest comedies ever made!
