The films of Rob Zombie are polarizing, to put it mildly. Some consider his work to be masterful, the kind of stuff that pushes and elevates horror to the next level. Others feel that his work is meant to shock and do little else. Others still find his work to be neither of those extremes, finding enjoyment in some of his titles while being more than happy to avoid others. Personally, I’m in that last camp.
Now, I should probably say that I genuinely enjoy Zombie as a person. I’ve interviewed him twice for Bloody-Disgusting, once at the and once at the . I know he’s not the biggest fan of BD but he was always gracious and friendly when we spoke, so there’s no ill will or evil vendetta going on here. Furthermore, I can easily have fun with his movies. They’re not bad and the passion he puts into each scene, as well as the passion he has for the genre, is always apparent. The man lives and breathes horror, which is why it’s kind of a shame that his movies all suffer from one particularly glaring issue: the dialogue.
Let’s start with the positive, shall we? Zombie clearly has an amazing eye and knows how to bring his vision to life. House of 1,000 Corpses and The Lords of Salem are visually stunning, no two ways about it. The former is far more garish in its presentation but that isn’t a bad thing. That’s what the story called for and Zombie delivered it in spades. From Dr. Satan’s layer, which is reminiscent of the Sedlec Ossuary in Czechoslovakia, to Captain Spaulding’s “Museum of Monsters & Madmen”, every scene in this film has something visually captivating and engrossing. It’s impossible to take your eyes away from the screen because there’s always something interesting to maintain your gaze.
The Lords of Salem is Zombie showing off his love of Italian horror by giving us a film that is undeniably gorgeous in its use of colors. What amuses me about this film is that many people called it a “slow-burn”. After giving us hyper-violent explosions of chaos, I feel like Zombie deciding to ease back and give something that is more atmospheric should be praised. I wonder if the expectations for The Lords of Salem were marred by Zombie’s resume up to that point. If so, that makes the reaction a damn shame as every film should be judged on its own merits.
While I wasn’t the biggest fan of his take on Halloween and I pretty much loathed Halloween II, I can’t deny that they had an absolutely fantastic look and atmosphere. The first film was claustrophobic and oppressive while the second was a hallucinogenic fever dream of surreal and nightmarish beauty. Sure, it didn’t really make much sense but boy did it look good!
Without a doubt, Rob Zombie may be one of the best visual directors in horror in recent years and he deserves that recognition.
Zombie’s biggest issue, and it’s a big one, is that his dialogue is simply atrocious. He manages to get the story across but it’s done in such an obvious and almost forceful way that there’s little enjoy. I remember seeing the trailer for Halloween for the first time and getting so hyped with each passing second. Then Dr. Loomis began talking and said, “Behind these eyes one finds only darkness. These are the eyes of a psychopath.” That first sentence was absolutely fantastic. It hearkened back to Donald Pleasance’s warning speech, which gave me such hope. Then the second line came and it felt so flat and forced. A psychopath? That’s the word we’re going with? C’mon, Rob! It was so hammy that I actually groaned in the theater and all excitement vanished. And let’s not forget the atrocious !
Also notable in Zombie’s movies is that fact that his characters have this strange need to swear seemingly every other word. After hearing “fuck” for the 192nd time, it begins to lose its impact. It’s like that episode of “South Park” where they could get away with saying “Shit”, so they said it so many times that it almost got to the point where it didn’t sound like a word anymore. I’m pretty much 100% positive that if you took Zombie’s scripts and removed all the cursing, you’d lose a good 10-15% of the dialogue.
Look, swearing isn’t a bad thing. Hell, I swear rather frequently myself. But if it’s what makes characters sound edgy or evil, then that’s not good enough. It’s the actions of Otis that make him terrifying, not the words coming out of his mouth. It’s the way that Baby plays with her prey before finishing them off. It’s the way Captain Spaulding can kill a person without batting an eye that makes him so unsettling.
Perhaps the most chilling line of House of 1,000 Corpses is when Otis states, “The boogeyman is real…and you found him.” We’ve all had our own childhood fears that we dubbed “the boogeyman”, only to outgrow that fear as we age. When Otis says this line, he’s telling the unlucky victims that not only has this supposed “monster in the closet” that they’ve forgotten risen up but that their curiosity is what awakened the beast. All of this pain was brought upon by their own actions. Unfortunately, it’s preceded Otis prattling on and on with unnecessary lines that don’t really add anything to the story. Had those been excised, I feel like that scene would’ve played out much better.
After the critical panning of Zombie’s latest film 31, I don’t know what the future will hold for him. I know that he’s still attached to direct Raised Eyebrows, which will examine the life of Groucho Marx but there hasn’t been any update on that project for a little while. What I do hope is that Zombie doesn’t stop making movies. Yes, you read that correctly. Even after all the bashing I just gave his writing abilities, I still think he’s a competent and exciting director that would benefit hugely from making movies that he didn’t write. If he wants to come up with a story, that’s fine. Just pass the story along to someone else to flesh out and bring to life. Zombie’s characters all feel like they come from the same small community and it’s time to let other people have a voice.
Oh, and please stop with all the shaky-cam nonsense. It’s not scary, it just makes me want to put down my popcorn and I know those theater floors are gross as hell.
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Henry Slasher
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